the sniffles

Yesteryday's supper was damn filling la. I'M SORRY I MADE YOU GUYS WAIT! No registering today because when I got back home, I concussed. Gonna get ready for jam. Somehow, I don't really feel that damn shacked or tired.

BUT I STILL DON'T KNOW WHAT TO WEAR!!!

I hate waking up with the sniffles. Time to shower and get ready and cabut. There's a family thing going on later, of which I only got to know on Thursday and hence could not re-schedule stuff. Another note to self, make more time for family. I think today I'll just wear something normal. I damn sian.

we're the wildhogs man!

The bestie and I.
1998 till now.


*


You know what's the most messed up thing? That when you have a job already and suddenly all the online job offers that're sweet are piling in. Damn fucked up la. But what to do. Another three more months and I'm off the internship. Man. Time flies really fast. FIVB in May and then Phuket in June. I don't know what's happening in July to September but I hope it's as hell packed as the past three months.

Social and personal life front? Been the same. Chilling with friends, hanging out, relaxing here and here and trying to get the band back in order. Tomorrow's the first jam in two weeks. I hope everyone remembers the songs. We need to tighten up for July. I really really really wanna gig. I miss the stage and singing. I just need to make sure that my vocals are in shape. Contemplating if I should go back to learning how to play the guitar. Gonna be hard since I don't have time for a lot of things. Don't even know how I'm gonna manage driving later on.

Pass Basic Theory first!

My sister's car is gonna come in May/June. When that appears, the Civic's gonna be all my brother's. Not that it wasn't already before. Gona be quite wasted if I can drive only after my internship at the magazine ends. I do want to stay on for awhile more. That is if they still want me. It'll be nice. I like what I'm doing, I like the people there and I promise I will really really give the best in terms of articles and sports coverage.

Still undergoing that learning process. Talk about steep curves. It's as inclined as it goes babe.

Was talking to Lizard King about snails and turtles and how is it that their shells grow with respect to size. Am supposed to be googling that.

Ok. Time to shower and get ready to leave. Supper with the boys and MOVIES GALORE! I hearts my homies many many. AHMAD I STLL MISS YOU! Actually, I wanna see all three of you guys together. Wildhogs was awesome though. Laughed our heads off. So was that crazy bumper car game that had me kinda shrieking with amusement and delight. I know I know. I'm such a girl.

But I am what!

Tomorrow is gonna be a long day. Think I mentioned that somewher. Register with the school and get my account. Jam. Lunch (QUIN ARE WE STILL ON?). Dinner. Drinks. Gonna meet the bestie's loveinterest as well. :D Haha! And speaking of bestie. I didn't go to work today, claimed I was sick. But I just needed a little break and some sunshine. Shopped with him so that he could get new threads and look smashin-dashin' tomorrow. Of which, judging by my taste, he will.

AIYA WHY I CAN DRESS OTHER PEOPLE BUT NOT MYSELF?!

I have horrible fashion sense. Seriously. Which is why I just stick to the basics of teeshirt and jeans or teeshirt and skirt. Anything else and I just look like a lost frumpy old maid.

Righto. Shower. SEE YA!

bang bang goes the broken glasses

I was wrong to think that people wouldn't consider subscribing to the magazine. But after spending a good portion of the day/morning (note: I only just finished the whole thing like 15 minutes ago and now it's 1332hours) cutting out the addresses, sticking them and the stamps onto the envelopes, slotting in the magazine and sealing everything, I realise that I was kinda wrong.

That's a lot of magazines to be mailed out la! My right arm hurts, that inner crook of the elbow. Nerve strain or some nonsense. The editor's coming back later to pick it up and drop it off at the post office. My shoulders are aching like mad and my ass is numb. But I would rather sit here, at least for today, and rest rather than head back out and lug that heavy camera and everything else.

My body needs to heal.

Been so hooked to Cartel. Found a new way to get my music fix. But I'm running out of space on D:/. Bugger. I'm gonna head down to BBDC this Saturday before jam to sign up for lessons. If it'll take me 6 months, I'll be ready for the roads by either October or November. Wish me luck yes?

My calves are aching and now I owe the arab 30bucks. Haha. He can wait long long for it. :D Jeanette Wang is inspiration.

Right. I need new trainers because my Reeboks finally died on me during the Singapore Masters. Pretty sad. I need to figure out how to be more active in team sports.

plug and play

Two words shall sum up today. Or rather, yesterday. Fucking shacked. I do not like carrying that camera back home with me. I need like one of those super duper damn gao/kao full body massages because I ache everywhere. Growing old la and rheumatism and arthritis is settling in and all that shit.

- Office lunch was PIZZA HUT! Haven't had that in eons.
- My colleagues are pretty fun and funny people.
- Cross-country finals at Turf City.
- IT'S SO DAMN ULU CAN!!
- VJC is really onz.
- Met up with Adik, Brother and Ian at Liat Starbucks.
- Cute barrista wasn't working today.
- Headed down to Padang to catch turtle during her training.
- Got lost in Clarke Quay/Boat Quay (was trying to find a bus stop that had a bus going to Holland)
- Supper, I miss Syafiqa's nasigorengmerahikanbilis.

Please please please let me stay in the office tomorrow. I have two more cans of Redbull. Finished the rugby article, edited the BMX one and am in the process of writing one for netball, cross-country and the shooting one. Still can't finish the shooting article for reasons unbeknownst. Major creative block but I did kinda lie the rugby feature. HOW MUCH MORE OF AN ANGLE CAN YOU SKEW WITH IN SPORTS?!

So yes. Time to sleep. Cannot be late anymore. Damn sian. Waste money. ONE MORE WEEK TILL PAY! I MISS THE HOMEBOYS MANY MANY! This Friday alrights? I can go out. :D

when your heart stops beating

When you don't have money for coffee, you go for the next best alternative. That would be Redbull. I know. I promised I wouldn't drink so much but I need to stay awake and complete at least two articles today. Been slacking off so much. Don't really know what and how to write it.

Ok. Now I'm wide awake. Editor is coming back from the meeting. I don't think he's been too happy with me as of late. Because of yesterday I suppose. Butbutbut I did a lot of work! Lugging that brick-weighted camera around and killing my wrists all in the name of the job. Also, I forgot to mention, I nearly got killed by the rugby ball. It landed like a few inches away from where I stood and was holding the camera. The only thing I could manage was a gulp and weak+sheepish smile.

Hello hello it rains again. Might be chilling later with the brother at Liat after he's done with his social experiement. I love the mobility and portability of the Nano. Plug, charge, play anywhere. Although I'm not really a huge fan of iTunes.

Office lunch later to celebrate three people's birthdays. The presents (or at least the amount that goes into chipping for it) is kinda pricey. I don't have that sorta cash on me now. Pay is still so far away. Can you believe it? April's almost over. And I spent it working, partying (though amazingly, not excessively) and chilling out with friends. Haven't even jammed in awhile and I think the vocals are itching for this Saturday's session.

PLEASE REMEMBER TO COME OK BOYS?

I shall go back and attempt work. Have I mentioned that I've been so tired lately? I don't even know what I've been doing. Oh yeah, gonna go back to running and working out. Mid-May, I will be a healthy 48kg girl! If that's even remotely possible.

Though I don't think so since muscle mass weighs like 3 times heavier than fat and erm yeah... I might end up putting on weight instead. REFRAIN FROM EATING!

Oh yes, just the other day when we were having dinner at Marina's Carl's Jr, I saw a very familiar design on a teeshirt. And then it hit me, Inhale Death! Haha. Haven't seen Gab in a long time. Looking good boy! Buy more shirts from me!

Err, when I decide to come up with more designs that is. ;D

throwing your words around

Why're people so eager to get married? I wanna settle when I'm 28. By then, I should be financially stable, able to stand on my own. Then again, if I am wholly capable of looking after myself (and possibly even my parents), do I even want to get married?

Dilemma. A short jog about the house to Yui's Rolling Star. This time I will truly stop procrastinating get my ass back to being lean. Haelthily, and not by any means of disorder. ;P Cold showers, Yellowcard and clean clothes.

Time to hit the sheets!

these are the words

I didn't like my time there.
I didn't enjoy it.
How ironic.
I can still fit into the shirt though.
As Lizard King would say, because I never grew.
Yeah, maybe I never did.
And this was one of the smaller shirts I owned.
Kinda figuring out where the rest went.
Hmm.

I passed by my college today.
I stepped onto the hockey turf at Delta.
And all these memories rushed back.
God, I miss those moments.

And Marc, I won't want to go back and change anything in the past. Haha. I already know that if I did, I wouldn't be where I am now. I wouldn't have met you guys or known you at all. Things could have been better and different then but I guess, it's all those little happiness and mishaps which makes life life. If that made sense.

inhale this, bitch

You don't know me.

You think you do. You think you see right through me. But it's like the diamond theory. More than one facet and just when you think you've gone beyond one, you find there's another 8435843759834 more where that came from.

How can I explain myself without being vague. How can I express things that are too hard to say.

I'm not supposed to be bogging myself with all these things. Seriously. Time is for work. Time is for responsibilities and obligations. The real world holds so much troubles and tribulations.

I'm all for arranged marriages.

o rly?

Athlete - Wires
You got wires, going in
You got wires, coming out of your skin
You got tears, making tracks
I got tears, that are scared of the facts

Running, down corridors through, automatic doors
Got to get to you, got to see this through
I see hope is here, in a plastic box
I've seen christmas lights, reflect in your eyes

You got wires, going in
You got wires, coming out of your skin
There's dry blood, on your wrist
Your dry blood on my fingertip

Running, down corridoors through, automatic doors
Got to get to you, got to see this through
First night of your life, curled up on your own
Looking at you now, you would never know

I see it in your eyes, I see it in your eyes
You'll be alright
I see it in your eyes, I see it in your eyes
You'll be alright

Alright

Running, down corridors through, automatic doors
Got to get to you, got to see this through
I see hope is here, in a plastic box
I've seen christmas lights, reflect in your eyes
down corridors, through automatic doors
Got to get to you, got to see this through
First night of your life, curled up on your own
Looking at you now, you would never know.

*

Why are you telling me all of this? Do I look like I particularly care? No. For the matter, I am not even your close friend. Seriously. What do I look like? Aunt agony?

*rolls eyes*

ahhh happy happy joy joy

Thank you Redsports for making my life significantly easier.

:)

Will be catching testosteron-charged action later.

Now to go through ebay and yahoo auctions to find myself a cable. Hmm. I love my sparta!

Meeting the boys later for dinner, coffee and smokes. Yummeh.

missing you

I miss everything so much that it's slowly beginning to wrap me in. I've been looking at all our old photos. The 6 of us. I remember the journey there, when we stopped over at Bangkok and me and Imran went to smoke and the rest followed. There was no ventilation, it was all weird and queer and walking from one end of the terminal to get to the other end where our continuing flight to Los Angeles would be.

I remember watching The Sound of Music and falling asleep and waking up only to realise the show was still playing. Imran drinking wine so that he could sleep and the boys watching LOST whilst we were on our 2 hour trip to Bangkok.

I remember when we reached LA and Shaikha was there waiting for us for awhile. She took SIA and the 5 of us were on Thai Airways. A reunion of sorts. Trying to occupy our time whilst waiting 6 hours for the domestic flight into Oklahoma. Sleeping on my cabin bag, taking photos and random shots. Looking like hell because we were so exhausted. Starbucks and little children running around. Oakley galore and cute army boys coming back from Iraq.

Touching down and Ajit losing his bag in San Fran. The rest of the gang and waiting for our rooms to get cleared. 4 girls to a house, me and Shaikha (my closet slut) sharing a bed with Kris and Xiao Wan below. The kitchenette and the toilet with the hair dryer that Xiao Wan often used. Watching repeats on the cartoon channel when I was alone at home and who could forget, Walmart.

Dyeing my virgin thick hair, snipping off my hair so I'd get bangs. Oklahoma City University sweatshirts and television production lessons with me getting pissed at Karlie for being such a biased bitch. Scandals amongst the teachers and the tornado hitting us 5 minutes away. Reno and Main street. Donny the driver and stopping over at petrol kiosks so the gang (or rather just Imran and Kris) could buy Budweiser and get wasted at night.

The sofabed where the guys sometimes crashed. Mike and his hair-less legs. Running around the compound and working out. Freezing cold weather and smoking outside the house in the dead of the night. Microwaved macaroni and cheese, our clam chowder, talking late into the night. The night I found out my dad got hospitalised, crying and being hugged like a little girl.

Shaikha, you'll always be my big sister. My friend and compadre. My bed-mate. My scandal. Haha.

Imran's our big brother. All big and fierce but a gentle jolly giant. The chef, the cook, the leader. Cursing and giving us all scandalous monickers. Listening to Duets and singing. Looking after all of us, protection, my smoking kaki.

Mike, another big brother. Watching anime and accompanying me as I bought my camera. Quiet and his stoned look. Talks about life and relationships on the way back home. My buddy for the arduous flight back from LA to Bangkok and then to Singapore. Running mate and bus-mate.

You three have been the most influential. And now, even when work's got us all bogged down, there's still those memories and the bond.

It would have been another 5 days to a year since we all met up at Changi Airport and took the plane. Almost a year since we spent three weeks in close quarters with each other, learning and getting used to the idosyncracies and eccentricities. Bitching together about the students from the other classes. Bonding together as a whole.

I wish I could live it all back again. This time, differently. I wish we were back there once more, having the time of our lives.

These kinda wishes don't come true. Could have beens. Might have beens. Would have beens.

I miss you all.

nothing but the rain

Ahmad, you shoulda been here.

Nonetheless, you guys are still my favourite boys.
♥ many many.

definitely didn't see that coming

Phuture's filled with a lot of kids. I'm not yet 22 but hell if I didn't feel old when they told me their ages. They definitely did not look their age.

And they thought I was 19. HAH!



A Thorn For Every Heart;
A Night to Remember, A Morning to Forget

I can’t love your eyes (Its all your fault)
I’m pushing back for more (As time flies by you wait for it)
And they paralyse (And for anything at all)
I can’t let you in (Lets waste away tonight)
Because that means that you win (The sands gone from the hourglass).
And its forever (Our time has passed)

You’re not the one to blame for this at all
Must have burnt this down, ashes all around
What were the questions that you had for me?
I couldn’t solve it all, so just let it be

Waiting awake by the window and
In my heart answers in the form of a question:
Why don’t we all end this with the quickness of breaking down the glass?
Now your waiting and I am ready.

Seasons are constantly changing
(Waking up, waking up to your eyes)
Time that we seem to be wasting
(You cut me out; you cut me out completely this time.)
Making up, breaking up for the last time (Time wont wait)
The reflection of, your life tells me you’re sleeping (Life wont wait)
Runaway, run from this
Cant be, cant be real.
[x2]

I can’t love your eyes (And all you are)
I’m pushing back for more (Are the mistakes that you make always)
And they paralyse (When everything’s all wrong)
I can’t let you in (Lets waste away tonight)
Because that means that you win (The sands gone from the hourglass)
And its forever (Our time has passed)

You’re not the one to blame for this at all
Must have burnt this down, ashes all around
What were the questions that you had for me?
I couldn’t solve it all, so just let it be

Fingers that tap the windowpane
Are to numb. Numb for you to feel the real pain
The kind that lies in me
Wanting something more than what this life has brought to me
Now I’m running, now I’m running

Seasons are constantly changing
(Waking up, waking up to your eyes)
Time that we seem to be wasting
(You cut me out; you cut me out completely this time.)
Making up, breaking up for the last time (Time wont wait)
The reflection of, your life tells me you’re sleeping (Life wont wait)
Runaway, run from this
Cant be, cant be real.

Seasons are constantly changing
Time that we seem to be wasting
I’m leaving now (Time won’t wait)
Don’t forget (Life won’t wait)

*

There are times where I wonder if I really am here. More awake and conscious than anything else. Most times I've been feeling as if I'm watching everything, like a play, reading it aloud as if I were reading a book. Either that, or I've been ingesting just way too much Redbull and caffeine and have way too much things bogging up my mind.