conclusion

I think my life would be a hell lot easier if I wasn't straight.

I wouldn't be landing myself in this mess. Nor would I have gotten myself into it in the first place.

I am going to go out and buy cigarettes now. Because I am in dire need of a smoke and because I had way too much to eat. Damn but I'm friggin full.

what goes around, comes around

Today's lunch was Subway. Cold cut slices of turkey on parmesan cheese (or whatever it is) bread and honey mustard sauce with lettuce. Yummers. Thanks Imran for the bite. We're well on our way to a healthy lifestyle. Really owe him a lot for the tuna of yesterday and lunch.

It's between drinking and clubbing. Trying to get the Lizard King down to join us. He better. I've yet to see how the boy moves. Haha. If we can get the Wolf, it'll be all the more hilarious. Homies to the club!

Was looking at a bunch of skinny people shots. It should have inspired me, motivated me to lose weight. But after awhile, I kinda balked. Sure, you can fit into everything. But my god. Horrifying? Unnerving? I think I like my body with its defects and fluctutations. How do they still maintain bust-size when there's almost nothing down there?

Oh yeah. My magazine's April/May issue is out. Get it. Only 5bucks!

i don't really scare people off much after all

What's awesome is meeting new people with whom you can click with instantly. Awesome is when you guys can spend literally 4 hours talking about everything and anything and there isn't a lull in the conversation at all. What's awesome is when you all have the same likes - anime, games, psychology, philosophy.

What's awesome is sitting down with two people - one your brother and another his friend, whom you possibly scare off with your semi-high antics thanks to caffeine-induced hyperness but possibly doesn't really care - having dinner, sheeshaing and just talking.

I spent my evening like that. Despite the rain and almost soggy Topshop flats. It's hard to describe everything, especially at this moment where I'm kinda high and giddy and everything else. Listening to The Pixies and Lisa Loeb in the back and camwhoring madness because you're just so damn happy.

I don't even know why. It's just that feeling you get. It's just one of those random moments. And you're supremely thankful to that greater being up there for letting you choose the little almost-unseen paths to meet all these wonderful people.

You are what you are. Influenced by everything around you. Circumstances and the choices you make. I guess I don't truly regret not having taken different courses in my life. One slight shift, no matter how miniscule, could have altered this moment forever. Heck, there might possibly be no moment.

And so, here is to possibly many more evenings of sheesha. With hot girls in the other corner, weird ass middle-eastern music, hardcore saloom and the endless stream of conversation.

♥ you many many.

It's been six years Viv. And despite that small fallout, it's been the most incredible six years of friendship and of siblinghood.

my virtual dna profile

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Check it out. I'm a cool Sofisticat. Deliberately spelt that way.

this is where it all begins, somewhat

Dear Neverwhere, we need to jam soon. I miss our music, rocking out and losing my voice each time because I just get too damned hyper. Also, I ♥ you guys. Sniff.

I can outdrink you.

Other news. Tuna sandwiches are my best friend. Maybe not size zero la. I shall attempt a size 2. Right now I'm in between size 6 and 8. Weight fluctuations are not my best friends.

WOOTS! Another article complete!

BMX, DSS, waterpolo, figure skating. Four in total. I feel fiiiinneeee. And hence I am updating way too much for my own good. It's raining again and I'm annoyed by that. Sigh. Why why why? Contemplating if I should go for The Observatory gig this Saturday at Zouk. There's DJ Nervous spinning RnB after. Sounds like a damn good idea.

Right. Time to stone. My fingers are freezing and I won't be able to type much in the next couple of hours. Say thanks to the weather. Although now, I'm really tempted to go for a run.

you know what they say

Step 1.
At all costs, avoid.
Step 2.
Ignore.
Step 3.
Process complete.

Imran offers to make me a sandwich. Jo sends me a scan of the letter she wrote. And all this time, she's on my mind. Shane, why do you have to look so damn good. Right. Time for lunch (which translates into smoke like fuck hour long break).

SENSE? WHAT SENSE?

Today the boss said that I could stay in the office and clear up some articles. He's gone off to catch the B Division finals for volleyball and take some shots. Again, as I sit here staring at Microsoft Word, it rains. Fucking cats and dogs everywhere. Unfortunately, I'm not wearing slippers and so my flats are gonna get soaked and stinkified. Bloody hell.

Almost got caught when I was on my way out. ALMOST. I'll prolly get skewered for revealing too much leg flesh. *peers* Ergh, veiny and varicosed as hell. How come no other sporty girl has it save for me?! Just got an offer to head down to The Clinic later tonight. Free invites. The booze? We'll talk about it later. Contemplating, contemplating. Maybe I should. I've been a good girl now haven't I?

I'd do Ryan Ross. Anytime.

Eggs, tomatoes and chocolate is a very odd combination for breakfast. But who gives a shit? I'm trying to not eat. VEGGIES ALL THE WAY! Now let's see if I can pop by Tekka and get myself a carrot.

open up your eyes and see like me

After washing my Topshop flats, I feel more compelled to wear them out. Looking at local fashionistas (wannabes and not) and observing/studying their fashion sense. Hmm. I met a lot of people today whilst I was in town - Mar and Kai, Jasmine and the guy who looks like Omar Rodriguez, Danah and Rau, Egan, the No Direction guys (who possibly don't remember me anymore and that is good) and M and friends.

I guess today was nice. Can't remember much because my brain feels pretty dead. Was suppose to have showered but well, the whole fashion research thing kinda made me forget. I feel like sewing dresses. Simply vintage-y stuff. Should be able to manage that. I'm all lost and blur for em' complex stuff.

Lin is simple remember. Just that she makes her life friggin complicated and confusing.

Met Kelly, saw the drummer from My Precious and I didn't know Starbucks hired caucasians. News news news. Find him at Cathay. ;)

Have completed the DSS and the BMX article and mailed it to my editor. Tomorrow I will complete the figure skating one and start working on netball and waterpolo. I don't know how to craft or fix an angle to that. I'm still on that cusp of going beyond what school has taught me. Everything seems to have been generated and churned out of a factory. The kind governed and ruled by Karlie the SaggyTit Bitch.

Greh. Shall consider what to put on my new flickr photostream. See how la. I want my daddy's shirts and more polo tees. Do ties look good with polo tees? Somehow I don't quite think so.

when there be nothing better to do

Quite seriously, you have to stop asking how a person is when you already know the life routine and schedule of the individual. This is why small talk just gets on my nerves. I should be shot for being such a meanie judgemental bitch. But Livejournal is down and hence I can't surf other people's blogs and I'm too lazy and sian to do the article now.

I'm home. Home is for rest. Ooh movies. Ok, I shall go watch Sparta and screencap shots of David Wenham's otherwise superhawt bod. Yummeh. Is it that easy to read me online when I'm irritated? Hmm.

I don't know what to wear tomorrow. Getting sick and tired of the whole jeans and teeshirt routine. Can't wear my skirt because we're doing a meeting with a school tomorrow regarding the WZ newsletter. Sigh. Unless it's a long skirt. But what about the top? And have I mentioned the fact that I hate it when it rains in the day?

Yes I do.

Right. LJ is still down. Fucked up. Shall go scrounge around some random fashion journal. Bugger.

Damn it. I am so envious of the fact that the crappy weather we have here do not allow us to wear trenchcoats. GAH! Saw a bunch of outfits on The Sartorialist that made me greeeeeen with envy.

Outfit 1 - The cutest combination ever of a grey thigh-length dress (with pockets in the front, possibly jersey-ish) with stockings, calf-length boots, a floppy sunhat and a cardi-sweater. Maybe its me, I like black. I like wearing black. Even in the damned heat, I like wearing black.

Outfit 2 - It's like a peacoat suit, greyish stockings, pumps, a simple browngrey scarf and a grey long-sleeved shirt on the inside. So classy! Damn it. Wear that in Singapore and in 5 minutes you'd run to the nearest 7-11 and jump into the ice box. Sigh.

Outfit 3 - This guy looks damn adorable in that getup. He actually tied the belt of the trenchcoat back to create that fin-like effect. Coupled with the tie/scarf-lookalike and neat white loafers. But then if you put it in the context of the Singaporean man, none of them could ever possibly pull that off. Unless you consider VJ Max. Hmm.

I'm not so sure how you club in the outfits that can be found here. London sure has got some really kooky err interesting fashion concepts.

Western women are lucky to always be able to pull this look off. It's because of the height and the built. Not to mention, the skintone and occasionally the flawless skin complexion. Oh that we Asians can only seethe with more green-eyed envy at desiring such traits bestowed upon our homosapic kin (I know that such a word possibly doesn't exist but I don't give a shit anymore) from the other side of the world.

Le' sigh, indeed.

why does it always rain on me?

Cool. I learnt that I am roughly 5"3. Today on the train back to the train station, I sat right beside Al Shantz. My mouth was shut, all the way, ears plugged to Thrice's Cold Cash and Colder Hearts. What a dumbass. Was so tempted to ask him some questions but I just didn't know what to say.

I think I'm seriously jinxed. Everytime there's a field assignment, it rains. Heavily. It pours. Makes me pissed just thinking about the time and money I wasted trying to get my work done. ARGH! It rains, it pours and it makes me agitated and antsy.

Looking at the article, I just hope I got it all right. It feels as if everything is scattered and slowly, if I don't get my act straightened out, things are gonna start piling. Fortunately I've already started on the drafts for each of the articles. Just that.. my angle always seems to be off. To me that is. Why why why?!

I'm staring at the can of Redbull on my desk. It's calling out my name, tempting me with its sweet sweet sugary and diabetically hazardous essence. ARGH! I've already had coffee. Screw lunch. Had a nice sugar cane session with the guys from SB. Haha. They said that I've got the 'designer' look thanks to my hair. Rright. So from looking like the Tomb Raider, I am now also known as the Designer girl. Cute.

I will finish this article. Because the never-ending rain is beginning to grate on my nerves. It's bloody April damn it. We're supposed to experience like, SPRING? Or wait, winter is before spring. Crud. Instead of snow we get shit-ass rain. Like a lot of rain.

You can see I'm not very happy. Despite the fact that I like it when it rains at night, I hate rain in the day. Makes me grumpy because it gets your feet, clothes and bag wet. And a bag wet means a possibly wet laptop and we don't want our lovelies to be drenched and dripping water now don't we?

don't tell scotty

So let's see what I did today. Went down for the waterpolo finals. Hot bodies galore. Felt so paedophillic. I distracted myself by smsing Joanna and telling her what a paedophile I was. Right. That didn't help the least bit.

Had dinner with Marc where he showed me that he could balance the cup of Coke on his belly. Both too stoned already.

Not sure if I wanna head down to the BMX P.I.G tomorrow. Feel kinda tired and lazy. Plus now I have a bunch of things to do. Three articles and hellohello there's a cockroach running loose in the room. My sister was freaking out and then it just vanished. Maybe I should just vacuum each and every corner of the room. Spare us both the fear and agony.

I hate roaches. I really do. Feel like taking a short break to recuperate. Go to work. Go home. Sleep. Oh yes. Jam too. Fortunately for me, this week I'm gonna be a good girl. Last week too havoc already.

I feel old. I like this layout alot. Finally got off my ass and did something. Not terribly satisfied with it but when you're brain's devoid of anything remotely artistic and you just need to get rid of that shitty orange layout, you do whatever you're capable of.

Maybe I'll just grow my hair out a teeeeeensy bit.

decipher this

Hello. This is the attack of the I-know-I'm-gonna-be-late-but-fuck-that blogger.

Know how we perpetually lament at how old we are right now. At this age maybe we wouldn't be blogging, or clubbing or doing stupid silly things anymore. But then, there never is truly an age where we should stop. As in definite and precise. It's always at that point of time where we've realised that we're ready to commit and settle down and everything else. And when you think about that, you realise that moment in time can occur anytime.

Creepy.

I haven't had enough rest to make up for the past week. Hence, I feel like I've been drugged and pulled underwater. My fingers are moving of their own accord and my brain's just stuck, trapped back there and I'm wondering that there was something I wanted to write but simply. For. Got.

1. I am tired of a lot of things. Nonetheless, I still appear as if everything's all fine and dandy. You know the thing about limits? Sometimes, some people have a greater threshold for it.

2. I can safely and confidently tell you that I don't need to be in one, at all, at any given point of time. :D

and we'll be looking after you

Is it like almost two to three days in a row? I think two days. Been hanging out with the little sister. The sun was blistering hot, scalded her skin and burnt the shadow of my bikini on mine. But the water was refreshing, as was nearly-lukewarm Bacardi Breezer and conversations that ranged from one to zero.

Gah. Need to lose weight. It sucks when you're trying to tone the damn muscles but end up doing it all over. Fucked up. I should just, not bother, with exercise and allow my unhealthy nicotine-inhaling and self-starvation habits kick in so I don't have to bother with weight issues. Ahem. Did I just say that aloud? Sorry. For my benefit.

No pictures from work. FUCKED UP SCHEDULE! As in, I fucked up my own schedule. So tired that I fell asleep at Starbucks. Dumbass. THAT'S TWICE OMFG! I went home early to crash. No Deputy Siren. No Rivermaya. Tired tired. And after this, I'm gonna go crash.

Oh yeah. The first two shots were taken the other day at Holland. AHMAD WHERE ARE YOU!? I MISS HANGING OUT WITH YOU ALSO!

Then can take more pictures. I have decided to bring my Casio out wherever I go. Life's too short to not be filled with random shots. Wait. Didn't I mention this before? Crud.