fragments

We've known each other since we were 16. The screaming infidelities and teenage angst, bottled and packaged. We studied together, if you consider scribbles and pictures studying. We called each other late into the night when we were feeling as if shit fell on us by the truckload.

I ♥ you. And I thank god a lot for having met you. We could still get married. ;) HAHA!

Whilst I didn't rightly get to sort out my thoughts and emotions, I did get a break from the stress of life. A little tete-a-tete with my favourite girlfriend, snuggled up in the corner of Starbucks, drinking, smoking and talking from till the sun set and the streetlamps began to glimmer and glitter gold.

I watched the 300 trailers again and it struck even more questions in my head. I guess I really am far more dangerous than I thought. Far more cruel, snide, snarky and conniving. Dangerous in each and every sense of the word. Mask of innocence, mask of pretense and false sincerity. Last night a part of me was appalled by this and then today, I just couldn't care anymore.

It feels as if something inside truly died. Closed itself up, locked itself in. Barred and shut. I hold back a lot of things I want to say now. There just seems to be no point in saying anything at all. Sometimes your words get drowned, sometimes you find that no one is truly paying attention. When that moment happens, you just cease to exist in definite reality and meld into the background.

Maybe that's why its just so easy for me. To disappear. To vanish and fade. I do it so often, I do it so well.







Ahem. In other happier news. Time to write that article about table tennis. Mayhaps, there's more comfort in writing something other than your emotions. It seems easier to express the emotions of others in words rather than your own. Or perhaps, I just never had that much to begin with in the first place. Hmmm. And that stupid FLV player does NOT work for me. GRAR! I really need to watch 300 again.