passing days that never seem to end

I need to look after myself more. I AM (almost) LOSING MY VOICE! NOOOOO! Kinda fucking amazing. Not many people will remember that I lose a great portion of my voice when I stay up beyond 5 am. Used to happen a lot and I'd just shut up and keep quiet because there isn't a point in talking when you have no voice.

I'm not at work. Heading to the docs. 30bucks for consultation and medication. This one better work and last me in time to come. I sound like a bloody frog now.

Don't know whether to cut or not. From now on, I promise that I am going to get back to taking pictures. Make time for pictures. And also, work on my skills (or the lack of it since it's been a long time since I touched DEOS). Woke up to the sensation of my right arm numb and tingling. Poor blood flow. Wrists been hurting a lot and I think I need to stock back up on Ibuprofen. I sound like a bloody druggy.

They're just painkillers!

Sometimes I believe I just need to shocke myself slowly into realising that there isn't a point and for the hostility to fade. It's not that I don't already now and it's not that I care too much and am so bothered and affected that it's almost bordering on obsessive. I guess I just truly question, why? And not knowing the answer drives me mad. But now that I see it, clearer and without any glasses tinted nor tainted whatsoever, I'm ready.

So all the best. You know who you are.















I'm just emotionally unavailable now. I used to have a heart. Now, I'm not quite sure where it's gone. Some say pathetic, some say sad, some try in desperation to make me believe that I do have it; but let's just put it simply as I'm not ready yet.

And I won't be. Not for a long time to come.

In the meantime, PARTAY!