empty

Words cannot express how I feel.
How I've been feeling.
Wrenched apart, torn inside and pulled asunder.
The truth hurts doesn't it?
Now I look at myself and I think:
So pitiful. So utterly pathetic.
I've never felt more vulnerable, never felt so much without purpose.
I can claim myself to be everything else - cold, detached, aloof.
But I still feel, only that, I'm just hiding everything else.
I don't know who I am anymore.
I don't know anything anymore.
And the worst thing is that, if I don't, I'll never get out of this.

Everything else that I see, that I read and hear seem so trivial. They seem so... petty and childlike. Disgusted, disappointed and terribly disillusioned. Simplicity is merely ignorance. I don't know what to do.

I don't know what to do anymore.















I want to be able to put into words how I feel. I want to express this empty gaping hole within. I want to wake up with self-driven purpose and not walk around as this blank empty vessel.

It's morning and I need to sleep. I think it'll be awhile before I can finally blog something far more sensible and less mundane.